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Roy Grant is a life coach who lives in Milwaukee WI. His honesty about his past experiences is great and his views on healing and the value of life are really inspiring, This episode has some gems, lots of them, and they are the sparkly ones that people will find valuable and beautiful.
Music credit: Buddha Nature by Gotama
RELATED LINKS / mentioned in the show
Book: Creative Visualization by Shakti Gawain
Book: You Can Heal you Life
SHOW TRANSCRIPT
Ricky McEachern (00:49):
When I'm recording with an Eager To Know guest, I am sort of in this weird, intense place of extreme listening. I am very focused on what the guest is sharing in constantly trying to calculate what my listeners will want to know next. It's a unique mental state for me. And I honestly don't always remember what we talked about when the interview is done. It's not until I get back to the editing suite and listen to the full recording that I can understand what was really recorded. It reminds me of an old, tiny miner or prospector who goes out to gather or rocks and minerals. And it's not until he gets back and empties his bag and sees what he got. Everything is sifted, sorted, and inspected. Hopefully, he gets some gems.
New Speaker (01:39):
Roy Grant is a life coach who lives in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. His honesty about his past experiences is great. His views on healing and the value of life are really inspiring. I have to say this episode has some gems, lots of them. They are sparkly ones and people will find them both valuable and beautiful. I am pleased to share my conversation with life coach Roy Grant.
Ricky McEachern (02:24):
I'm very excited that you are the first person that I'm talking to in a studio. We have not, I've not been in a studio for, I don't know, over a year. I'm glad that we're doing this in a studio.
Roy Grant (02:37):
Me too. How lovely. Thank you so much for having me. You and
Ricky McEachern (02:40):
I met at the Hofheimer gallery. Your mom is an artist and was having a show and you and I just started talking as happens at art openings. The conversations go everywhere. And I think we started talking about medi.
New Speaker (02:54):
Tation. Is that, is that accurate?
Roy Grant (02:57):
Yeah, absolutely. Cause you were, you were starting your journey into meditation and I teach and write and teach meditation. And it's been a big passion of mine since I was a teenager.
New Speaker (03:11):
As a
Ricky McEachern (03:11):
Teenager, that seems really interesting. How did you, how did that come about?
Roy Grant (03:18):
Yeah, so I would say a couple of reasons that came about number one, I had some trauma and in my youth some sexual abuse from family members that are no longer in the picture. So that's number one. I knew I needed some healing and number two, I was discovering that I was gay and I was going through a ton of bullying at school and in grade school. And what grade was this? It was the worst in seventh and eighth grade, but it was as long as I could remember, you know, and that really put me in a state of feeling like I didn't belong. And so that made me go inward instead of outward. It was my mom who gave me some self-help books and introduced me to some meditations. And then I was like, wow, it just worked for me. So
Ricky McEachern (04:11):
What were you telling your mom? No, I don't need to know the gory details, but what was the general sense that you were telling your mom that, that just seems like an interesting recommendation from a mom? W what, what was it that you were telling her that was going on with you? Okay,
Roy Grant (04:27):
Well, we're definitely soul mates, and I think we're just always, we've always been in perfect sync and I don't think there was a conversation, but we've both been on healing journeys, you know, she stealing with her healing as well. So when she had those books for herself, you know, she just kind of lent them to me. And we've, we've always been deep, emotional, sensitive people. And so we've always had conversations about what we're feeling. I think that's really important to know what you're feeling and be conscious of it. Rather than walking around and simply reacting to the world from your wounds, you need to be responsible for them and know what you're dealing with. Yeah.
Ricky McEachern (05:12):
This is such an interesting timing because I don't know if you listened to my last episode of this podcast was with my yoga instructor and specifically what we talked about was meditation and how that can be helpful to people and how it can help people react from not from emotions. But so, so it's interesting that the timing of this that's kind of where everything started for you, because obviously you're now doing a lot of things around life coaching, helping people. You're also a nurse, but it all kind of started from this books from your mom.
Roy Grant (05:53):
Yeah. So I'm diving into my own healing and these self-help books and doing these meditations. It was like, I want to write this book. I want to write these meditations. I can. And that was when I really felt like I aligned with my purpose, my God given purpose. And I just became, that was it. I knew I needed to be a self-help author. And I knew I needed to teach people how to heal and help them
Ricky McEachern (06:21):
When you are meditating. It's just you. So how, how can you heal with just, you mean normally when we think of healing, I think of an outside force coming in and doing something physically to you or you would need like an outsource or outside something to actually heal, but with meditation, it's just your own brain and your own breath. Can you explain that?
Roy Grant (06:51):
Okay. Oh, I think that, that's a great question, a great perspective. I love that, but th that's, that's the thing and what I try and teach people is everything you need is already inside. You, you already have all the wisdom, all the confidence all the power to create the life that you want and the healing that you want. And so all this meditation work all the life, coaching all the self-help books, all of it is a reminder of what your soul already knows. And the world around you has done a great job, usually of suppressing all that wisdom and power and making you, belittling you and making you feel like you don't have access to truth or wisdom or healing, or the ability to create the life of your dreams. So to answer your question of how you heal by yourself, it's it, it is that looking inward and accessing that greater truth, that it's all there. Number one, like I already mentioned, you're, you're acknowledging what you're feeling. You're giving it space to be released while simultaneously tapping into these hidden powers is hidden greatness. And the more that you allow that to flow up from the wellspring, because you are divine and you're connected to this divine source, that is the universe. The more you learn how to maintain that on a daily basis. And then you slowly become immune to the negativity of the world around us,
Ricky McEachern (08:27):
These books that you were using, was it like a structured program or a specific philosophy?
Roy Grant (08:34):
So the two most powerful for me was creative visualization by Shakti, Gawain. And that is literal guided visual meditation to manifest what you want in your life. And the second one was you can heal your life by Louise hay. And that, that one was the biggest for me, because she talks about literally looking at yourself in the mirror and telling yourself that you love yourself unconditionally. And so that's, that was the core of my healing process was finding that unconditional love for myself. Okay.
Ricky McEachern (09:11):
So you were in a situation where you thought you didn't love yourself and you thought negative things about yourself. Well,
Roy Grant (09:18):
I think when I was young and like, I think we all do, we all know we're special and we're great. And then somebody tells you you're not, and that's what my bullies did. They told me that I wasn't the way I was supposed to be, you know? And so, yeah, that buried all the gems and the, the good that I, I once knew that I had. And then you, that's what healing is, is about recovering that.
Ricky McEachern (09:43):
All right. That makes sense. So you basically had a foundation of feeling good about yourself as a kid, and then some things happened or it got derailed and you started getting these other messages.
Roy Grant (09:59):
Yeah. I mean, when, when you say the same was true for you, did you have it? Yeah,
Ricky McEachern (10:02):
So I was very, very similar and it's still, it's still an issue like, cause I was brought up in a very loving, well, a dysfunctional but loving family. But I had four older sisters that were doted on me and I also was a very talented like artistic kid. So I got a lot and I grew up in a neighborhood where I got a lot of praise. And so I had this foundation of feeling really good about myself and whatever, but then at some point I started getting a negative feedback and it was more of a confusion. I don't understand why are people I don't F I don't feel like the world is seeing me the way that I see myself from the way that people are responding. I don't necessarily felt like it was that damaging, but it was very confusing.
Ricky McEachern (10:57):
And that causes, you know, that causes problems as well. It reminds me of motion sickness. So motion sickness is caused by your ear. Canal can tell where you are if you're level and what happens is what your ear is perceiving and what your eyes are perceiving. Aren't in sync. And so your little lizard brain thinks you've been poisoned. And so it makes you throw up to get rid of the poison. So it thinks that's what's going on. So this is the disconnect makes you sick. So that's kind of what happened with me is like there was, and it's still an issue with me today. So you have all of this experience, you had all this healing and you've created a life for yourself out of all that. And that's amazing. I think that's something people can learn from. Can you talk about that, that how you took all of this and you're turning it into trying to help others heal people. You've created it into, you know, a business for yourself potentially with life coaching.
Roy Grant (12:03):
Yeah. And that's what I'd love to share with everyone is the truth. That pain is power. You can transform pain into power because what I went through made me a very sensitive and empathetic person. And I believe that sensitivity and empathy is everything that the world needs. And if I wouldn't have gone through those experiences, maybe I would have been a big jerk. I don't know. So I would love for people to know that they can to, to change the perspective and, and look at their pain as an opportunity to make them a superhero and to give them super powers. And that's, yeah, that's what I work on in my, my coaching and the meditation that life has meaning, and we're not alone. And I think when you know, that life has meaning, and you can find that truth for yourself and even the meaning behind your pain, then that's when fear goes away. Because, you know, you're a part of something bigger and it's not just all, oh, why is this happening to me? And, you know, the universe is unfair and there's so much inequality and injustice, and you can either let it destroy you, or you can totally turn it around and, and make yourself in the world a better
Ricky McEachern (13:26):
Place. So I know I hear that all the time, that what makes you that what doesn't kill you makes you makes you stronger. But I don't necessarily agree with that because I feel like there's people, we see people all the time that what has happened to them has destroyed them and they just never recover. And you know, you see it, you see it all the time. We've seen it throughout history. And then there's some people that for whatever reason, whether it's luck, whether they, they that doesn't happen and they're able to turn it into something. W what do you think of that?
Roy Grant (14:03):
Yeah. I mean, it's, I have a great life and it's easy for me to say like, oh, life is great. All even your pain has meaning, you know, when there are people that are truly deeply suffering and they don't even have the basic needs, you know, to survive, you know, that's easy for me to say, but I think that there is no hierarchy of pain because when you are experiencing pain, you are in pain and all pain can be transformed through a perspective. And the answer is that you have to accept the fact that life isn't, isn't fair. It isn't always kind it isn't just, but if you can believe that life matters, you're going to, you're going to have the motivation and the strength to be able to make it through anything. And if you don't believe that life matters or that you're powerless and that you're just a drift in this river of pain, then of course, you're going to continue to suffer without any end in sight. You know, there has to be that, that belief,
Ricky McEachern (15:17):
Do you think a lot of people just feel like they are powerless and that they are just in this, the river of life?
Roy Grant (15:26):
I do. I think the, the main problem like we spoke about in the beginning is that people are not, they don't know what they're feeling. They don't know their pain. They don't know that. I see.
Ricky McEachern (15:39):
So it all goes back to that with you. I see what you're saying, conscious of you have to be conscious of your feeling. Yeah. Okay. And so this is why when I was having that conversation with my yoga instructor cause we were talking about the importance of mindfulness and how it helps. I cause I'm such a goal oriented person. I'm just thinking it, you're just going to get better results, no matter what you do. So why don't they teach this in schools? Not that you would necessarily teach meditation, but something that would help people be more mindful. So I wasn't necessarily thinking about it in terms of pain, but yeah, I was just thinking of feelings, you know, mindfulness of being your feelings. But I think that you're kind of going a step further and like really thinking about the pain and being aware of not just your feelings, but your actual pain and that, that can help you heal it. I know that you do have events with people. And I think I saw one in Tokyo. Can you tell me about what the purpose of those, why you do them? And I just want to know more about that. I'm curious.
Roy Grant (16:51):
Yeah. so yeah, I facilitate self-help workshops and support groups. And that was important to me because it wouldn't be enough for me to just write a book or to post meditations online. For instance, I need to connect with people and, and be there and that healing process. And that's the same reason why I became a nurse is because I wanted that connection and that contact with people that need help. So that's why I started the groups. And yeah, I have a couple for gay men in Milwaukee and then in Chicago. And then I have an LGBTQ self-help group in Tokyo. And then I have another group that's called heads up your precious. And that's a self-help and meditation group, soul discussion discussion group. I'm in San Francisco in Chicago.
Ricky McEachern (17:53):
And are you, are, you obviously are going to these places too
Roy Grant (17:57):
For the Midwest ones I'm in person. I mean, after, not for the last year, obviously it's been all on online, but in the Tokyo and San Francisco groups are also online,
Ricky McEachern (18:11):
What kind of thing would be going on in someone's life in their mind that would bring them to your, like, what problem would someone have that they would think that this would solve it?
Roy Grant (18:24):
The premise of these groups is to raise the level of your comp consciousness to connect with like-minded people and to, to heal, to make change in your life or, or to connect with other people so that, you know, you're not alone in your suffering. And it's really this beautiful process of all these people from all different ages and walks of life. It becomes this pool of wisdom that we get to take. And Sharon and it's this opportunity that you don't get in your daily life. You don't, when you meet somebody, a new stranger, I mean, you're, you don't go and talk about, yeah. So what are the intricacies of moving on from a past relationship? Or, you know, how do I get self-esteem? I mean, you're talking about the weather or whatever it is. So this is getting strangers together and going straight to the meat of the matter.
Ricky McEachern (19:24):
All right. Now, how is this type of stuff that you're doing, everything that we've been talking about? How is this different from like therapy?
Roy Grant (19:34):
Well, as I have on my life coaching website, I say it is therapy, but as jucier, because it's, it's totally engaging, you're engaging with your whole being and you get to talk about the good and the bad, the past and the future. You get to set goals and get excited about healing. I think that might be what's missing from therapy. Is this level of excitement in that? Yeah, this is so cool that I get to change my life. I have power.
Ricky McEachern (20:04):
Yeah. So I assume that you did regular standard regular therapy for myself. Yes. Yeah. And so was that, that was a positive experience, but it wasn't, you needed, you wanted more, how would you describe like your therapy experience related to all this other stuff?
Roy Grant (20:24):
Yeah, I really, I've worked with a few different therapists and at the end of the day, I realized that it's great to have a sounding board, but it's really up to me whether I'm going to make the changes I need to make. And I know myself best. And with therapy, there was maybe some exploration of the feelings or the past, but I'm future oriented. I want to imagine this bright, beautiful future and all the things that I want to achieve. And so coaching is taking it to that level.
Ricky McEachern (21:00):
Wonderful. I remember I was in therapy years ago and I remember just talking to the therapist. So I'm just supposed to just talk to you about my feelings and that's what we're doing. That sounds, I don't see how this is helpful. It's not actionable, you know what I mean? Like he wasn't giving me any action items, so I stopped doing it, but I think what you're doing, it sounds much more action oriented. And I, you know, I liked the fact that there is a component of dealing with feelings, dealing with pain, but it does sound like it's a bit more action oriented, which sounds good to me. Yeah. A hundred percent. Right. So can we talk about the different ways that you are connecting with people? I know obviously you're a nurse, you are a life coach. And I think you have other books. Can you just tell me about everything that you're putting out there, how you're connecting with people primarily
Roy Grant (22:05):
I am through life coaching and, and writing and these facilitating these self-help workshops. So, but my, my biggest passion is, is the writing. So my hope is to get out as many self-help books published as I can. And my current one is paradises now. And that's delving into what we were talking about before, about the power of our pain and finding meaning to life and being able to, regardless of your environment or experiences find the beauty in the miracle in it. But I also do young adult and children's books in the science fiction and fantasy realm. And I also do meditations for children which is combining everything really which is really fun.
Ricky McEachern (23:04):
Tell me about meditations for children. That sounds fascinating. How old are the kids? How do they experience this online? Is it in person?
Roy Grant (23:14):
So these are I've just finished recording them. So they're going to be going on YouTube just for free. And I plan to make a corresponding book that goes with it. So that parents or guardians or teachers can maybe read these meditation's allowed if that's the style that they like. But they are totally accessing the children's powers within, but doing it in a really fun way. So it's like a fantasy story where you're, you're the hero on your it all around you. But dealing with really meaningful matter. So it's a bit of a trick in a way the kid is having fun, but they're healing and inspiring imagination at the same time.
Ricky McEachern (23:59):
What age would you think
Roy Grant (24:01):
I'm not good at that because I'm still a kid myself and
Speaker 5 (24:04):
I love all this stuff. But like
Ricky McEachern (24:07):
What age are you targeting this content for?
Roy Grant (24:10):
Well, it can definitely, definitely go to five years old as young as five years old. I mean,
Ricky McEachern (24:15):
And what about like little boys who are like me? I was hyperactive. Do you think something like this would work?
Roy Grant (24:22):
Well? I actually did do this in, in schools, in grade schools with children as a school project in my nursing program for public health and they just ate it up. They loved it. I mean, because you're closing your eyes and you're using your imagination to visit these worlds and use these powers that are coming from inside you. And when we were done, I mean, in a grade school class, that's, you know, that's a lot to, to wrangle, but everyone was silent, everyone was engaged. And then afterwards they were all talking about the colors, the places that they went, the powers that they had. And so I think you give, I mean, it is a replacement for the iPad. I mean, to go within and give them this blank canvas to explore.
Ricky McEachern (25:13):
Yeah. Well, I think everything that you're doing is so interesting and fascinating to me. I think that, yeah, I think that people underestimate the power that they have in their lives. And I think, I think they underestimate their brain and how quickly it can adapt. And I'm going to tell you a story. I just started that I just started learning how to play the piano. And so I don't have a background in music. And do you play music? Do you do music at all? Okay, so it's like this language and, but it's using different parts of your brain that normally cause there's the visual part. You're looking at the notes and then it's like how high up on the, the scale it is, is like, which note it is. And then the size and shape is how long you hold it. The beat is like factored in there and then that all gets translated into your fingers.
Ricky McEachern (26:05):
So it's using all of these parts of your brain that are completely unrelated basically, and you do music. So I'm learning. And I would go down and start doing a piece of music and I would try to do all of this and I can't do it. And within an hour I could do it and I could not believe my brain was able to figure this out. And it kind of scared me because I'm thinking, holy crap, like my brain is learning all the time. And in like super sophisticated, pulling all these things together, it kind scared the heck out of me. So it kind of relates to what you're saying, how powerful you are and your brain is very powerful idea. You have no idea.
Roy Grant (26:53):
Yeah. And, and the truth that you're absorbing all the time and you don't know what your, your brain or your spirit is processing. You know, so again, being conscious of that is really important.
Ricky McEachern (27:05):
People that are listening to this and they are resonating and maybe relating or excited to what we've been talking about. What would you suggest that they do?
Roy Grant (27:19):
Well, I would say number one, set aside some time for yourself to go inward and to simply ask yourself, what am I feeling? And once you connect with that, ask yourself why and see where that route leads. And you can see what the real issues in your life are that are either affecting you positively or negatively. And then if it's a negative route that you're finding to a past trauma, and it doesn't have to be an extreme trauma then you know exactly where to start in order to heal. And I think, again, it's really important to believe that life has meaning. And you can't simply tell somebody that you have to experience that, right? So I would encourage people to connect with their present moment and the world around them, their own consciousness, and just Marvel at the miracle of existence. It doesn't have to be some complicated, you know, or amazing experience, just Marvel at the fact that you exist and you'll begin to swell with an appreciation for life and in undeniable, meaning behind it.
Ricky McEachern (28:39):
Do you think that people don't cause I've been marveling that I exist since I was a little kid. I mean, I was on the treadmill the other day and I'm like, oh my God, I am actually Rick I'm here. I have conscious, this is crazy. This is insane that I actually have thoughts. Is that not normal?
Roy Grant (29:00):
No, I don't think, I think you're special in that
Speaker 5 (29:02):
Regard. I don't think that's normal.
Ricky McEachern (29:05):
All right. So you are telling people to, you know, be in touch with their feelings, which is obviously like a meditative process and
Roy Grant (29:15):
Yeah. Take responsibility for your pain. And then you're actually, it's not a shaming thing that I'm saying like, you know, why aren't you doing this? It's really exciting because then you have control of your life and you're not the victim. You're not reacting anymore. You're, you're choosing how to respond.
Ricky McEachern (29:33):
It kind of reminds me of understanding your strengths and weaknesses, like being honest with what you're good at and what you're not at makes everything much better because it's not a shaming thing, but then you can actually get better results because if you're honest with what you're good at and what you're not good at, and it sounds like this is kind of a similar type of thought is if you look at what your pain is that, and be honest with it and where it comes from, that would be helpful. All right. Well, I'm definitely going to have to have you back because I have 10 other things that I want to talk to you about. That's great. But yeah, no, I think this is this is super wonderful. If people want to get in touch with you and learn more about what you have to offer and your books and all of that stuff where would they go?
Roy Grant (30:20):
Yeah. So you can go to Roy Grant, life, coach.com. And that has links to my meditations on YouTube to my book on Amazon and to my Instagram, et cetera. So you'll get all the juicy, good stuff there and to book a life coaching appointment, if you would like that.
Ricky McEachern (30:38):
Okay, great. Well, when I first, when you first told me that you were a life coach, when I first met you, I'm thinking he's way too young to be experienced, to be a life coach. But after talking to you, I think that you probably have a wonderful life. Oh, I'm so glad I changed your mind. Yeah, most definitely. All right. Well, thank you so much for making the trip down to Chicago to talk with me. And this has been wonderful. Yeah, it was a blast. Thank you, Eric. You're welcome.